don't have to be alone to be lonely

I guess it's a bit obvious from my last posts that I've been feeling kind of bummed out lately. Over the past few months, I think I've done a good job of picking up and fixing my broken parts after my devastating break-up last summer. I'm doing well in school, having a great time with friends, bonding with family, finding creative outlets. So it's safe to say I'm doing pretty good job of recreating myself, but even as I am doing well in other areas of my life, there is definitely something that is missing. I've been deathly afraid of opening my heart up again.

Recently, I thought I found an opportunity to give it a shot, then in a split second, I realized I was wrong. I think that this person and I are both wonderful people who would be lucky to have each other, if given the chance, but just because two people are great, it doesn't mean they are great together. I've spent the last couple of weeks chasing after an idea because I was tired of feeling like something is missing in my life.

So in acknoledging it, it makes it official - I'm a bit lonely.

This song kinda captures my life at the moment. It's called Not Technically Alone by the Ropes.

If lonely times a thousand
is where you're starting out
the sound of voices shouting
come pinstriped down a cloud
the city's overcrowded
but to me it's a ghost town
the streets are full of traffic
i don't see any cars around

how i feel is very hard to describe
here it goes i'm gonna give it a try:
i'm not technically alone,
not technically, not technically
not technically,
no not technically alone
not technically, not technically
might as well be ...

it looks like i'm laughing
like the other boys and girls
but i'm on my own planet
i'm on my own world
i have friends and family
got some numbers on my phone
and yes i've had addresses
but i've never had a home


i feel this thing with everyone i meet
i don't have to be alone to be lonely
i'm not technically alone,
not technically, not technically
not technically,
no not technically alone
not technically, not technically
might as well be ...

the rich are getting richer
the heart is barely getting by
people are so vicious
i see a peaceful place in time
i used to be different
i think of what things would be like
in my mind a draw a picture
and stare at it all night

no where to go where there's space taken up
i'm the one that's never been touched


i'm not technically alone,
not technically, not technically
not technically,
no not technically alone
not technically, not technically
not technically alone
not technically, not technically
not technically, not technically
no not technically, not technically
not technically

might as well be ...

I was trying to find a video on youtube or a link to hear it somewhere, but all I got was there website where you can download it. Click here. It will be totally worth it.