Absolutely Imperfect in Every Way

You know what I learned today? Even the most beautiful and well-loved people suffer through bouts of insecurities. Well, this isn't new-found knowledge, however, it is nice to be reminded that everyone has down time.

For today's AOTD, I wanted to to celebrate some of my not-so-desireable characteristics. This is me, as an emoticon:

DAY 106 - April 16, 2010
TITLE: NELLicon
MEDIUM: Pencil and crayon

Hi I'm Nella. My hair is unruly. I laugh too loud. I use the "F word" ALOT. I don't get my nails done. My car is a mess. I'm a flirt. I walk funny in heels. If I could, I'd sleep til noon everyday. I'm either dropping, knocking, or running into things. Patience is not one of my virtues. I think too much, but often times, I don't think enough. I'm absolutely imperfect in everyway, nonetheless, I am AWESOME.

don't have to be alone to be lonely

I guess it's a bit obvious from my last posts that I've been feeling kind of bummed out lately. Over the past few months, I think I've done a good job of picking up and fixing my broken parts after my devastating break-up last summer. I'm doing well in school, having a great time with friends, bonding with family, finding creative outlets. So it's safe to say I'm doing pretty good job of recreating myself, but even as I am doing well in other areas of my life, there is definitely something that is missing. I've been deathly afraid of opening my heart up again.

Recently, I thought I found an opportunity to give it a shot, then in a split second, I realized I was wrong. I think that this person and I are both wonderful people who would be lucky to have each other, if given the chance, but just because two people are great, it doesn't mean they are great together. I've spent the last couple of weeks chasing after an idea because I was tired of feeling like something is missing in my life.

So in acknoledging it, it makes it official - I'm a bit lonely.

This song kinda captures my life at the moment. It's called Not Technically Alone by the Ropes.

If lonely times a thousand
is where you're starting out
the sound of voices shouting
come pinstriped down a cloud
the city's overcrowded
but to me it's a ghost town
the streets are full of traffic
i don't see any cars around

how i feel is very hard to describe
here it goes i'm gonna give it a try:
i'm not technically alone,
not technically, not technically
not technically,
no not technically alone
not technically, not technically
might as well be ...

it looks like i'm laughing
like the other boys and girls
but i'm on my own planet
i'm on my own world
i have friends and family
got some numbers on my phone
and yes i've had addresses
but i've never had a home


i feel this thing with everyone i meet
i don't have to be alone to be lonely
i'm not technically alone,
not technically, not technically
not technically,
no not technically alone
not technically, not technically
might as well be ...

the rich are getting richer
the heart is barely getting by
people are so vicious
i see a peaceful place in time
i used to be different
i think of what things would be like
in my mind a draw a picture
and stare at it all night

no where to go where there's space taken up
i'm the one that's never been touched


i'm not technically alone,
not technically, not technically
not technically,
no not technically alone
not technically, not technically
not technically alone
not technically, not technically
not technically, not technically
no not technically, not technically
not technically

might as well be ...

I was trying to find a video on youtube or a link to hear it somewhere, but all I got was there website where you can download it. Click here. It will be totally worth it.

One of Them Nights

In my last post, I was whining about how exhausted I was, yet it's 12:58AM and I can't sleep. Right before I went to bed, I texted a friend of mine and as I was about to knock out, he texted back. Now, I can't sleep. Once again, I can't say it's anyone's fault but my own.

I'm going to try to blog myself to sleep. Hopefully, I don't blog you to sleep.

DAY 101 - April 11, 2010
TITLE: Get Well!
MEDIUM: Pens & Highlighter


When I was hanging out with Drea, Viva, her puppy, was throwing up. Poor thing! I felt so bad for her because I could practically hear how awful her tummy must have been feeling.

DAY 102 - April 12, 2010
TITLE: Grey
MEDIUM: Pencil/Color pencil

I've been trying to do something with a grayscale and color contrast. Then something came into mind that I thought would be perfect for the technique... a friend of mine tried to call me out on the possible mean of this drawing. hmm, you know - sometimes a hand is just a hand.


DAY 103 - April 13, 2010
TITLE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELE
MEDIUM: Computerized graphic

This collage is about 10 years of Nella&Michele camwhoring. There are 60 pictures of us in this collage. In 10 years, one would think that we have accumulated more, but these are just some of my favorite ones! She turned 26 on April 14th, so I did this collage in advance to make sure it's ready to great her on her birthday. So I hope Michele, on of my favorite people in the world, has many beautiful days to come and I hope that we have many more years of an awesome friendship to celebrate. Here's to a wonderful person!


DAY 104 - April 14, 2010
TITLE: Cranium
MEDIUM: Pencil

So for Michele's birthday we hung out and played a round of Cranium. Sometimes, you know you're getting older when your idea of fun changes. And yes, it was a lot of fun. We had three teams (Drea & I, Michele & her sister, and Michele & Drea's boyfriends) and my team won! We are the masters at the Creativity Cat. Here are a bunch of drawings I did from that night (mind you, in some of these drawings, my eyes had to be closed!)


DAY 105 - April 15, 2010
TITLE: Sandy
MEDIUM: Colored Sand

I guess I can't say my fatigue is completely my fault. Like tonight, I was up last night, anxiety-driven. I decided to raid my art drawer and use the colored sand that's has been untouched for some time now, to pass the time. I had a lot of fun doing this.

I hate the few moments when you are trying to fall asleep. It always takes me forever to get into my comfy zone and then there are the occasional thoughts that creep into my brain that prevent me from falling asleep. I have no idea why I've been feeling so troubled lately. I'm trying to shake it off, but it seems that the usual aura-cleansing rituals aren't working at the moment.

P.S. I had a job interview today. I think it went well. I'll tell you all more about it later!

One of Them Days

Today is one of those days where I just want to sleep all my troubles away. I'm exhausted and outside factors are contributing to my frustrations. I won't blame my distress completely on outside factors, since I am feeling this way because I didn't use my time and energy wisely. The next few weeks are going to be extremely hectic, but at least I know it will go by quickly. I need to focus!!!

Now that I am done venting, I am going to do something that will make me feel better. I can't do anything to fix the things at are causing m stress, but I can change the way I feel about it!

One Night in Tokyo

Last weekend, I had a blast with the ladies. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera, so I have to wait for my friend Sharon to give me the pictures from her camera, but for now, I am going to share pictures from her birthday that I haven't posted because I've been insanely busy!
The girls and I love dressing up in themes for special occasions. For Sharon's birthday, it was One Night in Tokyo, which was pretty much our excuse to dress up in all things Japanese. Our first stop of the night was at the Guam Artist Exhibit show, which we were totally late for. As you can see in this picture, we are rockin these teeny hats and a giant bow, which Sharon brought back in Japan. Apparently it's huge there.

Our friend Scott, who bartends at the bar we went to came ready with his little piece of Japan. Michele and I went the Japanese school girl route. Michele was wearing knee-high's with sandals just like the Japanese tourists we see here on Guam while I decided to wear my Toki-doki shirt to look a little more Japanesey.

This is Sharon, the birthday girl. We got her a kimono from Sky Creations on Etsy.com. Drea showed it to me last year and we decided to get it because it's this awesome cross between Japanese and Victorian. We meant to send it to Sharon for her seijinsuki (Coming of Age) last year, while she was still in Japan. Of course, I'm a procastinator and it worked out anyway, since she was able to wear it for her party!
I wish I had a better picture of Drea and the kimono that she made. I'm so proud of her because she's really getting better and better at sewing. Maybe someday, I'll have a closet full of clothes by Drea. :D

I posted this picture on my previous blog, but I had to repost for a different reason. I really like this pic, but I wish I didn't look so drunk in it (and really, I wasn't at all! so what's up with that?) Anyway, a few days before the party, I was marvelling at all the female Japanese tourists that I've been seeing because I just loved their eye-makeup. So I decided to go with that for the night. I rocked out some looooong falsies and heavy eyeshadow.

My baby sister and me. Can't do a Japanese party with out peace-sign pictures. Chiisu!

This is Drea and me, with our friend Tessa. The animal ears aren't exactly Japanese, but they're kawaii enough to be! :)

CHEERS!

I love theme parties. And more than that, I love my girls! I had such a great time with them at the One Night in Tokyo party and over this past weekend and I hope we get to do it again soon.

It's Michele's birthday next week. We couldn't think of any theme ideas, but I'm pretty sure we're still going to have a great time. :)

100 DAYS OF ART!

I have succeeded with 100 days of art. I can't help but be a little proud of myself right about now!

DAY 95 - April 05, 2010
TITLE: Flower Therapy
MEDIUM: Markers

After a long day, flower doodles make me feel so much better. :)

DAY 96 - April 06, 2010
TITLE: Y-Control
MEDIUM: Water color, acrylic, & Markers

This is inspired by a line from Y Control by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's. My friend Michele and I were listening to this song and we both agreed that that line is awesome. I, personally, wouldn't mind getting that woman back...

DAY 97 - April 07, 2010
TITLE: Shoe Labels II
MEDIUM: Pens and Markers

I've been doing a good job with not buying shoes this past few months, but I caved!! Here are the drawings I'm going to use to label my shoe cases.

DAY 98 - April 08, 2010
TITLE: Drunken Delilah
MEDIUM: Pen on Doggie Bag

I was drinking with some friends at Bully's and decided to do some drunken doodles. "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's was playing, and now, as you can see, my visual rendition of it is now on a doggie bag. :)

DAY 99 - April 09, 2010
TITLE: Pretty Popper
MEDIUM: Markers

It was slow at work, so after prepping and cleaning, I doodled on my bottle opener. :P

DAY 100 - April 10, 2010
TITLE: Nella 100
MEDIUM: Pencil

So, for my 100th day of art, I decided to do something special, like a self-portrait. I decided to try doing it from this photo:



As you can see, portraits are not my specialty because I don't even think it resembles the photo at all. However, this is all a part of the process into becoming a better artist. With much more practice, maybe my next portrait post will be better. :)