Just Because

Just because a girl is strong, it does not mean that she doesn’t break down. She heals with time, she’s been mended, and she’s constantly in repair.

Just because a girl is smart, it does not mean that she doesn’t get stupid when she falls in love. A time will come when passion overcomes reason, a time when lessons are learned the hard way, and inevitably, yesterday's lessons must be relearned.

Just because a girl is beautiful, it does not mean she is not insecure. She has scars and blemishes she prays the world won't see.

Just because a girl laughs, it does not mean she is not sad. Each smile and chuckle is winning the fight against shedding a tear, until the war is over.

Just because a girl is graceful, it does not mean she does not stumble. Everyone falls.

Just because a girl understands, does not mean she is not angry. It takes many deep breaths, eyes wide open, and a compassionate heart to fight the desire to scream and strike.

Just because a girl is adored, it does not mean that she is not lonely. When the party is over, when the make up has been wiped away, she's only got herself to talk to when the nights are dark and long.

Absolutely Imperfect in Every Way

You know what I learned today? Even the most beautiful and well-loved people suffer through bouts of insecurities. Well, this isn't new-found knowledge, however, it is nice to be reminded that everyone has down time.

For today's AOTD, I wanted to to celebrate some of my not-so-desireable characteristics. This is me, as an emoticon:

DAY 106 - April 16, 2010
TITLE: NELLicon
MEDIUM: Pencil and crayon

Hi I'm Nella. My hair is unruly. I laugh too loud. I use the "F word" ALOT. I don't get my nails done. My car is a mess. I'm a flirt. I walk funny in heels. If I could, I'd sleep til noon everyday. I'm either dropping, knocking, or running into things. Patience is not one of my virtues. I think too much, but often times, I don't think enough. I'm absolutely imperfect in everyway, nonetheless, I am AWESOME.

365 Overload!

Been quite the busy bee lately, but I'm still sticking to the commitment I made to my 365 Days of Art project. I'm really doing badly on my resolution to practice better time management. Sigh

March has definitely been better than February. I've been given lots of reasons to celebrate - birthdays of loved ones, the homecoming of friends, the Christening of a beautiful baby girl. Even though it's been a few good days, I can't seem to shake off this feeling of apathy. I've had my moments of rejoicing, but generally, one a happiness scale from 1 to 5, I'd say I'm a 3. I have been having a hard time putting my heart into most of the things I normally love doing. It'll pass, I know it.

Like I said earlier, I'm still keeping up with the project so here's a bunch of art for you.

DAY 79 - March 20, 2010
TITLE: MINE
Medium: Pen

Although I said that I have been feeling slightly apathetic, it's really not all bad. I feel like I am in control of what I do with my life, which is definitely a good thing! It's just a matter of accepting that all I can do is try, and sometimes I just need to give myself break.

DAY 80 - March 21, 2010
TITLE: Upset Stomach
MEDIUM: Paper Cut-outs and Marker

After enjoying a whole lot of pickled green mango, a local seasonal treat, my tummy wasn't exactly feeling great. The slight discomfort was definitely worth all the sour spicy goodness!

DAY 81 - March 22, 2010
TITLE: Rosey Posey
MEDIUM: Pen

I was working on a piece on Photoshop. Unfortunately, I did not save it like I thought I did. Disheartened with my Photoshop fail, since I'm definitely seasoned enough in the craft to practice caution, I decided to do something simple, and this was the first thing to come to mind. I'm just going to have to revisit that project some other time.

DAY 82 - March 23, 2010
TITLE: Brown Dwarf
MEDIUM: Pen

Once again, my Astronomy class inspired me. We're studying different types of celestial objects (mainly stars) and I learned about an object called brown dwarfs. Brown dwarfs are stellar objects that are too low in mass to be able to have nuclear-fusion, the process that happens in stars. So I figured, I'm pay tribute to the very much ignored brown dwarfs. :P

DAY 83 - March 24, 2010
TITLE: In HERE
MEDIUM: Pencil

Dear incosiderate people who do not know how to park your vehicles,

I understand that you might be in a hurry, but so are many people that know how to park in between the lines. Just a friendly remind that your carelessness is an inconvenience to others.

Sincerely,

The person that could've been parking in one of the spots you are taking up.

DAY 84 - March 25, 2010
TITLE: Smokey
MEDIUM: Charcoal, pencil, and Ink

For my friend's party last week, I did my make-up in a way that a lot of girls in Japan are rockin'. I was trying to recreate it this afternoon, but it wasn't quite working in my favor, so I decided to do it on paper instead.

That's all for now. Everyone, enjoy your spring break. I definitely will and hopefully, I will take that time to refocus my energy into something constructive.

Sick Day

DAY 21: January 21, 2010

TITLE: Black Balloon

Medium: Marker

Inspired by the song "Black Balloon" by the Goo Goo Dolls. ♥

DAY 22: January 22, 2010

TITLE: BOO!

Medium: Pens

"BOO!" to being sick and my Friday night being ruined! :(

Please excuse the crappy quality of the photos. Since I am feeling a bit under the weather, I wasn't feeling up for walking to the living room to scan these drawings. Instead, I took pictures with my phone camera.

I was thinking today that I am not doing such a good job keeping up with my resolutions. For instance, I didn't get to do all the things I set myself out to do before school started. I haven't noticed an improvement in my independence, or my patience level and I haven't been doing a good job with my temper. I guess the important thing is I am aware of it and I'll work on fixing it. I might also be a little to hard on myself because I do notice improvements in other areas of my list, like my sudden burst of social consciousness and my slightly improved health habits.

Well, tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity to practice my new ideas. And I hope I feel better. :P Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

Resolution Tree

DAY 3, January 3, 2010
Title: Resolution Tree
Medium: Pen and marker on recycled paper :)

Why "Resolution Tree"?


On New Year's Eve, I told my friends how the negative events of 2009 has caused me to soul-search and found that I have quite a few flaws in me that I want to improve. So I listed down the things that need improvement. Under each of the items on the list, I made specific resolutions on what I can do to fix my negative attributes. In other words, I listed my resolutions in outline form. A little excessive? Maybe...


After sharing this with friends, one of them said "so, you made a resolution tree?"


I thought that this was a great way to describe this system that I created. The little changes I want to make in my life will hopefully make a big positive change in my life, kinda like how little leaves on a tree create one big tree.


Here are a just a few of the many, many things I have decided to work on and examples of what I intend on doing:

• Have better time management by schedules and sticking to them.
• Gain independence by spending "me-time", self-dates, running errands by myself, and cooking for myself
• Be more socially-conscious by making eco-friendly decisions, attending meetings regarding the upcoming military build-up.
• Be proactive with goals by setting priorities, making lists, and making time lines.
• Finish what I start, by ensuring that whatever I start is achievable.
• Hone talents and skills by keeping up with my 365 Days of Art project, writing in my journal, and getting together with my musician friends to sing.
• Control emotions, especially my anger and crying in public.
• Be more health conscious. I know I can't quit smoking cold turkey, so I decided that I won't smoke at home, in my car, or my friend Drea's house (which will cut down my smoking by half).
• Have more faith in God by having regular conversations with Him.
• Be less self-centered by not monopolizing conversations and do more for other people.
• Be less materialistic by not buying this impulsively. If I see something I like, if I really want it, I will wait three days before buying it. If I still want it, and if it's still there, then it's meant to be.
• Stop being complacent by speaking up and change what I want to be changed.
• Adjust attitude by smiling first thing in the morning and turning negatives and positives.

A lot of people have a tendency to critique themselves too harshly. Critique is pointless unless things are done to improve flaws. Every year, people make resolutions. I heard somewhere that 90% of New Year's resolutions are broken. It's probably because people are too unrealistic about their resolutions or are too vague about them.


Another thing I kept in mind when I was listing my resolutions is that some of my flaws are what make me who I am. So, what if I am a little stubborn or a little sensitive? I've learned to appreciate those things about me, so I'm keeping them!

*sigh*

Today is my ex's birthday. I woke up and that was the first thought that entered in my head. It made me sad knowing that it would do no good to greet him, but since I can't really do anything about it, I just smiled and told myself that it will be a good day.

I think my resolutions are working out for me very well!